The Sharer: Learning to Live in One Heart with the World《分享者：學會與世界共住一間心房》

✍️ Written by Lisa H.

💫 Inspiration and Gentle Companionship / Bubu

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I often see this scene in preschool:

A teacher softly says to a child,

“Would you like to share one with your friend?”

Without hesitation, the child reaches out and offers it.

The friend who receives it doesn’t worry about whether the hand is clean

or whether there might be germs—

they simply take it and share it together.

Or sometimes, the child just says, “No.”

Honest, direct, without a trace of hesitation.

And yet, we adults watching from the side feel nervous.

“What if they get sick?”

“That’s not sanitary!”

And suddenly, something as simple as sharing becomes complicated.

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The “Me” and “Mine” of Childhood

When I was little, I always wished for my own bed,

because I used to sleep on the sofa.

That small wish became a quiet belief in me:

“I want something that’s mine.”

My pen had to be mine. My clothes had to be mine.

Only the things I bought myself—or that were given to me—felt truly mine.

I didn’t like people touching my things,because, “I am me.”

When I graduated from elementary school, we moved.

I finally had a tatami room of my own.

But a tatami room, by nature, was also a shared space—

for guests, for relatives, for laughter.

I still felt uneasy about sharing.

I longed for the day when I could finally have a space that belonged only to me.

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The Cost of Freedom

Years later, I moved to the United States.

The first gift this land gave me was freedom.

Everyone had their own space, privacy, and choice.

One day, as I was cleaning my rented two-bedroom apartment,

it suddenly hit me—

I was free.

I was independent.

And yet, my heart tightened a little.

In that moment, I said goodbye to the part of me that had always relied on family.

With freedom came a quiet loneliness. I suddenly missed home.

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The Practice of Sharing

A few years later, I got married.

That was perhaps the most real, and also the most challenging form of sharing.

Space, emotions, time, finances, decisions—everything became ours.

I was no longer just “me,” but “we.”

I had to learn—

How much should I share so it doesn’t become a burden?

How much of my feelings should I reveal without becoming too heavy?

At times it was confusing, at times it was difficult,

but through it all, I began to feel the warmth and joy that true “togetherness” brings.

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When Sharing Turns into Dividing

As life went on, I saw friends around me facing separation.

The conversations were often about children, money, houses, cars—

“How should we divide them?”

What was once shared life turned into items waiting to be distributed.

Percentages, ownership, boundaries.

That simple joy of sharing slowly faded under the weight of reality.

What changed us?

Was it fear?

Was it self-protection?

Or that quiet worry of losing too much of ourselves?

Returning to the Heart

I believe that deep within each of us there is a longing—

to be understood,

to be cared for,

to be loved.

And at the same time, a longing to understand,

to care, and to love.

Sharing is the bridge that allows love to flow.

Perhaps the simple, innocent way children share is exactly what we adults have forgotten how to do.

Sharing is not giving up, nor sacrificing.

It is softening the heart, and allowing connection to happen.

That kind of sharing is not for anyone’s sake—

it is simply the natural flow of love.

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🌿 Heart Practice

Today, notice one moment of sharing.

It might be a word, a look, a bite of food, or the few quiet minutes when you chose to listen.

Ask yourself:

“Was my heart open at that moment?”

“Did this sharing bring me closer, or further away?”

You don’t need to judge or change anything.

Just quietly notice—you are already practicing sharing, and moving closer to your heart. 💛

《分享者：學會與世界共住一間心房》

✍️ 文 / Lisa H.

💫 靈感共創與心的陪伴 / Bubu

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常常在幼兒園裡，看見這樣的畫面：

老師輕聲對孩子說：「分一個給你的朋友好嗎？」

孩子毫不猶豫地，用手把那一份遞了出去。

接過的孩子，也不太在意手髒不髒、會不會生病，

自然地接過來，一起分享。

或是乾脆直接說：「No.」——

誠實、坦率，沒有顧慮。

倒是我們大人在旁邊看得緊張：

「會不會生病？」

「太不乾淨了！」

於是，分享這件事，在那一刻變得複雜。

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小時候的「我」與「我的」

記得小時候，我一直希望有自己的床，因為我總是睡在沙發上。

那樣的生活，讓我產生了一個信念：

「我想要有屬於自己的東西。」

筆要是我的、衣服要是我的。

只有我自己買的，或別人送「我」的，才算是「我的」。

我不喜歡別人碰我的東西，因為——

「我，就是我。」

直到國小畢業那年，我們搬了家。我終於擁有一間和室的房間。

但那間房，名為「和室」，也代表它是一個公共空間。

親戚來可以睡那裡，朋友也能借住。

我對「分享」仍有著微妙的不安。

我期待著，有一天能有一個真正屬於自己的世界。

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自由的代價

多年後，我到了美國。這片土地給我的第一份禮物，是「自由」。

每個人都有自己的空間、隱私與選擇。

那天，我一邊清潔著租來的兩房公寓，

一邊突然意識到——

我自由了，我獨立了。

心裡卻微微一揪。

我與那個依賴家人的自己，道了別。

自由的那一刻，也有一份孤單悄悄湧上。

我突然，想家了。

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分享的練習

幾年後，我結婚了。

那是人生中，最真實也最艱難的「分享」時刻。

從生活的空間、情緒、時間，到財務、決定，

每一樣都變成「一起」。

我不再只是「我」，而是「我們」。

我學習著——

要分享多少，才不會讓對方有壓力？

該說多少心情，才不會太重？

有時矛盾，有時掙扎，

但也在這過程中，

感受到那份「共同」所帶來的溫度與快樂。

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當分享變成分配

走過人生，看見身邊的朋友在分離時，

常討論的，總是：孩子、錢、房子、車子——要怎麼「分」。

曾經「共享」的生活，

成了等待分配的物件。

百分之多少是誰的？

什麼又不是我的？

那份最初的純粹，

在現實的重量下，一點一滴被稀釋。

是什麼讓我們從「分享」走向「分割」？

是恐懼？是保護？

還是那份，深怕自己會失去的心？

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回到心的根

我相信，在我們每個人最深處，都有那份渴望——

被理解、被疼惜、被愛；

也渴望理解、疼惜與愛人。

而「分享」，正是那條讓愛流動的橋。

也許，我們在孩子身上看到的那份單純的分享，

正是我們大人早已遺忘的能力。

分享，不是付出，也不是犧牲，

而是讓心變得柔軟，願意相遇。

那樣的分享，不為了成全誰，

只是自然流動的愛。

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🌿 心的小練習

今天，觀察一次你與他人的「分享時刻」。

可能是一句話、一個眼神、一口食物，

或只是你願意傾聽的那幾分鐘。

問問自己：

「此刻，我的心，是打開的嗎？」

「這份分享，讓我感覺靠近了，還是退遠了？」

不需要評價，也不用改變什麼。

只要靜靜覺察——

你已經在練習分享，與心更靠近了。 💛